By: Steven Brown
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Private Detectives Towson MD
Private Detectives Towson MD: Brown, Kaszak, & Associates is a fully-licensed and insured Private Investigations Agency serving Towson and Baltimore County, Maryland. Our agency boasts nationwide capabilities and resources which allow us to successfully manage cases in Maryland and beyond. With innovative strategies and forward thinking, we are able to offer our clients superior results with a quick rate of turnaround, resulting in reduced service expenditure.
Thoughts from a Maryland Private Investigator
Infidelity. Unfaithfulness. Extramarital Affairs.
Hollywood tends to portray infidelity as alluring and provocative and thrilling. Countless plots rely on one forbidden relationship, one forbidden act. An entire screenplay evolves. Trust is betrayed. Feelings are hurt. But, ultimately, life works itself out and the new lovers ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
For those who have walked this heartbreaking path however, you know how deceptive the Hollywood tale is. In the real world, spousal infidelity is anything but the glamorous facade that the big screen suggests. Infidelity leaves a trail of sorrow and turmoil and heartache in its wake. Always. This is true for the person being betrayed, as well as the person doing the betraying. Certainly the timeline to experience loss and pain differs- the betrayed bearing the brunt in the beginning, but always the betrayer realizing some degree of loss in the end. As a private investigator, with an observant eye on infidelity cases too numerous to count, I can assure you that there is no such thing as a pretty affair.
To be honest, I don’t like writing about this topic, this pain. What I like even less? Investigating it.
But, as a Maryland licensed private investigator, spousal infidelity investigations are part-and-parcel to the job. We private detectives are called upon to sit behind a camera and covertly document unfaithful spouses or partners.
For those of us who perform well, no one knows we’re even there. Just as a carpenter frames a house, or a surgeon skillfully sutures a wound, a seasoned private investigator discreetly obtains evidence.
And, this is the point in which infidelity investigations become so “problematic”. You see, the collection of evidence in an infidelity investigation is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, there’s occupational pride when we stay one step ahead and obtain definitive, indisputable proof. We’ve successfully performed our job. We’ve achieved the goal for which we were hired.
On the other hand, the reality is disheartening. We have obtained evidence of deception, the cause for further pain and heartbreak. Not only that, but we must then advise our client as to our findings, show them images of their loved one sharing intimate moments with someone else. With each photograph or video the client sees, an equal amount of security and safety and trust seem to vanish from their very eyes. In those moments, life itself becomes visible as it ebbs from the client who sits before us, sadly lost in thought.
The fact of the matter is, I have been a private investigator for a long time and have had, quite literally, thousands of these emotional meetings over the last 20+ years. While I’ve learned how to prepare clients for what may be uncovered, and how to delicately disclose evidence obtained in a sensitive, thoughtful manner, there are still many instances in which I leave client evidence disclosure meetings with the need to take a deep breath.
The life of a private investigator is simply not the glamour prevalent in movies and romantic sleuth novels. It’s real, it’s raw, and at times, it’s haunting.
It does however, provide an in-depth look at human nature. This inside look, this window into countless lives, has allowed us to make certain characterizations of behavior. It’s aided us in our ability to stay one step ahead, to anticipate a subject’s next move. And, it’s also clued us in to various behaviors that typically precipitate deceit.
When it comes to spousal infidelity, there are warning signs, or “red flags”, that typically rear their ugly heads, almost as if on cue. The following list presents the top five behaviors that we have concluded from countless client intake interviews, covert surveillance investigations, and behavioral analyses.
- A sudden desire for privacy when using the phone. As a general rule of thumb, if something can’t be said in the presence of a spouse, or something can’t be seen by a spouse, such as a text message, it probably shouldn’t be said or texted. If your partner is seeking out privacy to partake in these communications, be assured that transparency and honesty, among other things, are lacking in the relationship. Unless your spouse is a top secret agent, he or she shouldn’t have a need for covert conversations or correspondence.
- A preoccupation in thought which results in a feeling of distance and detachment. Another key indicator of infidelity is the prevalence of daydreaming. If your partner is often lost in thought, or seems emotionally detached, it can be a warning that something is occurring behind the scenes. This type of behavior can also present in the form of anger, impatience, or rudeness.
- A change in work schedule. Lacking creativity, adulterers often use work as a convenient alibi for a forbidden rendezvous. Claims of overtime, of being called in on the weekend, or of other such changes in an otherwise normal work schedule can be covers for indiscretion. Pay attention to pay stubs and take note of worked hours during a pay period. If there was no overtime compensation when, according to the narrative, there should have been, you may have a cheater on your hands.
- A sudden focus on appearance. Is your love suddenly showing interest in how he or she looks? Is the gym now a part of the daily routine? Have you noticed new clothing? A new ‘do? New make up? If your partner has a newfound emphasis on his or her looks, there may be a reason why.
- The smell of someone else. Often, unfaithfulness can be detected through the powerful sense of smell. Pay attention to scents. Have you recently smelled a perfume on him that you do not own? Does your partner simply smell different? When it comes to spousal infidelity, typically the nose knows.
Keep in mind, this list is by no means exhaustive. There are certainly other tell-tale signs.
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you know your spouse. Take a moment, analyze behaviors, actions, and old versus new habits. Consider it a game of poker, where you must look for your opponent’s “tells”. When you’ve analyzed and deduced and still have a sinking feeling, a sneaky suspicion that something is going on, explore your options. Give us a call. Speak with an experienced investigator who can go over the specific details of your situation with you.
More often than not, folks that contact us already know the truth of the matter. The only thing lacking is the proof. And, that’s where we shine.
If you’re in Towson, MD or any other area throughout Maryland, and need evidence to put your suspicions to rest, contact the seasoned private investigators of Brown, Kaszak, & Associates.
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