By: Steven Brown
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Private Investigators Syracuse NY
Private Investigators Syracuse NY
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*** ATTENTION MEN ***
Based on our Experience as Licensed New York & Maryland Private Investigators
Men, I know how it is. We like things direct. We don’t like to wait around endlessly for information. Just give us a straight answer, right?
Since today’s blog post is aimed for our male readership, I’m going to do something a little different. I’m going to give you, right up front, The Top 5 Reasons Your Partner May Cheat, based on what we’ve seen frequently in the course of our investigations. I won’t make you read paragraph upon tiring paragraph just to find those 5 link-bait reasons that the blog title promises. Like I said, I’m a guy- I totally get it. I hate wandering aimlessly with my wife through Kohl’s and I won’t torment you with needless meandering through this webpage. However, if any of the following 5 reasons jump out at you, you may just consider venturing further down the article to get a quick explanation of what our private investigator experience has taught us.
So, without further ado, here are the The Top 5 Reasons Your Partner May Cheat:
- Lack of Love and Affection
- Professional Career
- A Husband’s Affair
- Medication and/or Alcohol
- Low self-esteem or self-worth
Agree? Did any of The Top 5 Reasons that Your Partner May Cheat resonate with you? I certainly don’t mean to oversimplify what is often a complex matter, but if these reasons piqued your interest, I invite you to continue reading long enough to determine if our brief explanations convince you:
1. LACK OF LOVE AND AFFECTION
At the risk of offending those who believe there is no difference between men and women, our experience has shown differently. Women are simply “wired” differently than men, as I am sure many of you have known since oh, say, kindergarten. Of course, there are always exceptions, but generally speaking, women tend to be much more in touch with their emotions. This, understandably, can generate a fair degree of frustration in men, who can often be emotionally-challenged. However, if we’re honest, this quality of women is one of the ways in which they can be so alluring. Truly, opposites do attract.
Let’s face it, back in the day, when we were living on a prayer that our one-day wives would grace us with a second glance, there’s nothing we wouldn’t have done for them. We applied ourselves and became fluent in the language of their hearts – romance. We treated them to expensive dinners, we bought them flowers, some of us even opened car doors for them. Our mission was to make their lives magical. And, it worked. We won them over. They agreed to be our one and only.
We got lazy. Life happened. Long work days. Kids. Tiredness. Familiarity. We don’t even look her in the eye anymore. We barely look up from our phones and mutter an “uh huh, dear” when she speaks.
And, we certainly don’t offer any physical affection, unless it lands us in bed. Yes, women want physical affection. You know, the kind without strings attached. In fact, I heard a recent radio segment, by John Tesh, discussing how physical affection is so beneficial to our partner’s health. He explained how a University of North Carolina study revealed that a woman’s body releases oxytocin, a calming hormone, when she is hugged.
So, men, does this reason apply in your life? Does your wife, who used to feel like your adored, beloved queen, now feel like your tattered, tired roommate?
2. PROFESSIONAL CAREER
Today’s economy, as well as our culture’s consumer spending habits, often demand a two-income household. More than ever, women are in the full-time workforce, juggling responsibility for their families as well as their professions. Obviously, this is a scenario that countless women all over the world balance beautifully and gracefully. However, there are unfortunate instances in which relationships form with co-workers and colleagues and sparks fly. In these cases, infidelity becomes an easy opportunity. Additionally, women – who contribute so much to the family unit but who often get little appreciation in return – can find the accolade, recognition, and compensation of a career incredibly attractive. It can heighten the dissatisfaction that she may already be experiencing at home and foster conditions that may increase the likelihood of infidelity.
Now, before I lose you here, let me give a disclaimer. We’re not saying that everything is your fault, men. But, if we can be honest, we have to admit that we play a critical role in our partner’s fulfillment. Ultimately, we’re not responsible for the actions of others. But, on the other hand, it’s wise to do some introspection and examine how our actions may be helping or hurting the relationship.
3. A HUSBAND’S AFFAIR
Remember how I said that not everything is your fault?
Doesn’t apply here.
If you cheated on your wife and now find yourself reading an article about The Top 5 Reasons Your Partner May Cheat, we’ll tell you flat out that her infidelity has everything to do with you. Trust me… I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being counted as present in more than my share of court hearings and mediation sessions. And, let me tell you, I’ve heard quite an earful during those meetings.
The response “he cheated first” ranks right up there with “it was either I cheat or chop off his …..“. I think you get the picture. Look, if you cheated on her, she’s angry, resentful, and deeply wounded. You opened a huge Pandora’s box of dark and bitter emotions. And, quite frankly, you’ve got no one but yourself to thank for the raw aftermath.
We’re not saying that everything is your fault, men. But, if we can be honest, we have to admit that we play a critical role in our partner’s fulfillment. Ultimately, we’re not responsible for the actions of others. But, on the other hand, it’s wise to do some introspection and examine how our actions may be helping or hurting the relationship.
4. MEDICATION AND/OR ALCOHOL
Interestingly, the last few adultery investigations that we’ve conducted have involved medication that played a tremendous role in the subjects’ behavior. The effects that the medications had on behavior seemed to be further exacerbated by the subjects’ use of alcohol while on these medications.
Now, some might assume that this is some way to excuse bad behavior. But, before you adopt that stance and write this off, look into this possibility a little more. Some of our clients have described huge changes in the personalities of their cheating spouses which seemed to stem from a new medication that was prescribed.
5. LOW SELF ESTEEM OR SELF-WORTH
Low self-esteem and self-worth are often the hidden motivators and root causes for infidelity. In fact, if you review the reasons above, low self-worth is often the underlying current, the common denominator in each scenario.
Of course, there are numerous other reasons that a partner may cheat. And, certainly, we could write an article specifically for women explaining the numerous reasons we’ve observed why men cheat. There’s always two sides to every story.
The fact of the matter is the heart. It’s always the heart- whether a wife is committing adultery or the husband is the guilty party. And, while there are often ways to invest in a relationship, to work toward a healthy, flourishing marriage, the ultimate decision to commit an act of infidelity lies with only one person.
If you suspect that your partner is cheating and you would like to know the truth, we encourage you to pick up the phone, dial (585) 673-0090, and speak with a New York Private Investigator today. Or, simply use our online contact form and a private investigator will be in touch with you within 24 hours.
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